This summer has reminded me that motherhood is work. I knew this coming into my career as a mother, but I never imagined how truly deeply emotional and physical the tasks are of mothers. Figuring out how to balance 6 very different little peoples needs has been both emotionally and physically taxing for me.
But I say, bring it on.
I know that this stage of life with little ones will be gone in a blink of an eye. I have been constantly reminding myself that this is only the beginning, I better enjoy the journey or I am going to miss out. I have put simple signs all of the home as visual reminders.
For example
"Look in their eyes and smile"
"Find the positive"( I look at this one a lot)
"Dance",
"Think before you speak"
"Be kind"
"Smile"
"Laugh"
Etc.
I used to be serious when I told people that one more kid after 3 is no big deal. There is no difference. I am here to correct myself and say that from 5 to six has by far been the most difficult. I find myself being pulled in all sorts of directions to help each child with their individual needs. Then there is always that one child who seems to need triple the amount of time and attention, which leaves me feeling emotionally exhausted at the end of each day. I am reminded that as long as I am doing the best that I can do then the Lord makes up the difference. It brings me such comfort in knowing this.
Especially on those days where it seems that my efforts have fallen very short of what I feel I am capable of. But, if I sit back though and look at the big picture I realize that that was the best I was able to do that day. Sure it may pale in compariosion to those days where it seems that everything runs smoothly, but given whatever circumstaces happend that day, I can be happy that everyone was able to have at least 3 balanced meals.
Not that anyone is asking, but for those who want to know. I truly feel that our home is complete.
Seconds after Daniel was born I had such a complete sense of knowing I have done what the Lord has asked me to do, in the realm of what spirits we needed to help bring to this earth. I realized after this experience, that I had been pregnant 11 times in 11 years! So I am not expecting my body to produce any more little people. I am so grateful for the experiences I have had with my miscarriages. As difficult as each miscarriage was, I look back and realize how much each one has helped me develop a faith in knowing that the Lord knows best. I have learned to trust in His will and timing.
I feel very grateful that I had this experience. I have many friends who have heavy hearts because they want so badly to have more children, but for unapparent and sometimes apparent reasons have not been able to physically have any more. I see the struggle they go through and my heart aches for them.
I have been soaking Daniel up since he was born. He is such a wonderful little person. I look into his eyes and see wisdom beyond his his mere 8months. He is an amazing blessing that I am grateful for beyond words. He recently has started to scoot crawl. The girls sit and encourage him and he loves giving them these radiant smiles that seem to say, thanks for the help.
Soon the girls will be home from their first day of school. The home will once again be filled with loud noises. When that time comes you can be assured that I will be digging back down to those innermost parts of my soul to pull out the strength to get through the rest of the day. Because for me, the time between 4 and 8 seem to be the hours where meltdowns occur, whining happens, and my brain feels literally like it is going to explode from all the noise. And the children just sit and watch me in amazement.
All kidding aside those hours plain and simple, just seem to be the most difficult. But like I said earlier. This stage of life will be gone in a blink of an eye.
Things to look forward to:
-Lucy is in charge of dinner tonight. She has breakfast food. The menu is waffles with fresh blueberries and whip cream on top, fluffy scramble eggs, bacon, and hashbrowns.
-Hearing about how the girls first day of school was
-Cuddling with Daniel when I put him down for the night
-Story time at bedtime
-Jared coming home from work
-Snuggling up to him as we fall asleep
5 comments:
Thank you for pointing out that it's the journey that brings joy. Seeing the potential and the possibilities instead of seeing the WORK. Appreciating the moments as they happen instead of looking past them towards a distant and ethereal goal. Thank you for sharing!
School already! Mine are going back soon and I am so so ready for them to have a new way to occupy their day. Love you.
How sweet. You always have such a good outlook on being a mom and I appreciate how you are honest about the difficult times. It helps to know that even one whom seems as together and parent perfect as you, has to take deep breaths to get through the day too.
You are absolutely amazing Pam. I hope you have moments of recognition of just how fantastic you are because I am constantly in awe of the great work you do in your home.
Pam! Such honesty and sincerity! I love you! And I totally agree. I have loved this summer, but it's driving me nuts :) I have a good month plus before that blessed school bus comes, but at the same time I dread the complication that school-days bring, too. I like the laid-back-ness of summer. Not being run by this schedule and that activity. But having them all home kicking around bugging each other is trying too. Well, in the end the truth remains, you can't have the good without the bad. The wonderful experiences and feelings that come with children and the challenges, too. I think that's what most people don't understand when they see the craziness that accompanies me when I take the crew to, say, the grocery store (always a mistake!) -- under all this craziness is a great deal of happiness, too.
Oh, and i have yet to give my baseboards a good scrubbing! And I've lived here a year :) (But I really really get the grumpiness when someone spills on my NEWLY CLEANED floors!!)
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