Wetting The Bed

Holy cow! (That is not in reference to the state of my body right now) Did May just fly by or what? Actually how about the last 5 months.

Anyway- So my story for this Sunday is more on the personal side. As a child I wet the bed. I think until I was close to 6. I could have been older but we will say 6 cause that sounds better than 7 or 8.

This caused me a lot of anxiety. I couldn't sleep over at my friends homes because I didn't want to have "an accident" at their home. I think my Mom just put diapers on me at night.

When I was, I think, in kindergarten my Mom wanted to try out this product. It claimed that before a child started to pee in the bed it could detect that the child needed to go to the bathroom so it would sound an alarm to awake the child in time for him/her to make it to the potty in time before peeing all over the place.

This worked great for my twin sister. She learned quickly. I, on the other hand, had a more difficult time waking up, since I was apparently a really deep sleeper.

One night I didn't wake in time. I awoke to a lot of pain on my side. So I pulled myself out of bed and dragged myself to my Mom and told her my side hurt really bad. It was still dark out. She kindly told me to go and lay on the couch and she would check it when the sun got up.

Well to her surprise she found 2nd degree burns on me. The contraption apparently had gotten sick of being peed on and short circuited and electrocuted me. My Mom felt terrible. We went to some kind of doctor they took pictures and fixed me up and then sent the pictures to the company.

Funny thing is I stopped wetting the bed after I got electrocuted.

Why Mother's go crazy

Last week for art I got creative and took what I had and created a water table. It was going to get up in the high 80's that day.

I needed to get a lot of work done in the yard and knew I didn't want to have the kiddie pool unattended while I was out of their sight. I came up with a simple solution. I took 2 picnic table benches and a kiddie pool and loaded the pool up with empty ice cream pails and empty shampoo bottles from our recycle box and cups and the girls played for hours.

This way they could stay cool but I didn't have to worry about them drowning, or peeing the pool. When Emma and Sera got home they played for 2 more hours. Love it!

While I took a break I brought out the camera to record their fun and one of the snippets was this little video that explains why Mother can go crazy at times. I felt like I was in Bill Cosby Himself , where he says "Stop it, stop it stop it!" After I caught this, cough cough, rare moment on digital, I found myself asking Lucy to "come here, come here, COME HERE!" to explain why it is important to stop when Mommy say's stop. I laughed to myself after this incident, pondering the wonderfulness of "brain damage!" One of the many fabulous things we get to learn about and from.

Luckily this was just a little hiccup in the day, but is it not frustrating for a parent when a child is young and they choose to ignore you. I know they can hear me, because I do what I call the cookie test. If I am being ignored and I need their attention I simply say, rather softly I might add, "Do you want a cookie?" And by golly all of the sudden they can hear me. They never get a cookie of course, I just want to have a feeling that their ears do indeed work.

It is a good thing they are all so cute to me and that I love them sooooooo much!

I can't get enough

Of this little girls "surprised" face

Without fail this face makes me laugh and smile so big. It is even better in person.
I have another fun full week. This past week I spent outside working in the garden and yard.
Thought's that have filled my mind this past week are:

How and what circumstance will take place that will help us know when we are done having children? This has consumed my mind.

How are we going to fit another child in our home?

I hope my garden will do well as it has in the past.

Those are just a few thoughts from this past week.

Happy May!

Engagement and wedding celebrations

Jared and I dated for about 18 months before we got married. He lived in Buffalo New York most of that time. The company he was working for at the time flew him back to Salt Lake every other weekend. SO we got to spend time 2 weekends a month.

On Sundays we would go and have meals with his family. I typically got to drive him back to the airport. It was hard for me to not cry. Those 18 months were a wonderful growing time for us. We had built a firm solid foundation of friendship by that point. We knew we were going to get married some day, and once we realized it was the right time we got married 6 weeks later.

Jared proposed to me through a video he had sent to his parents with the ring. When it was time to ask the question he had me stop the video and call him. Not conventional by any means. But it suited us.

Jared's Mom and myself pretty much planned everything. Both Jared and I are extremely practical people so there was nothing extravagant about our wedding plans.

I found a great deal at a bulk card stock supplier and got 500 card stock invites and envelopes for something like $30. I then found a printer shop, that when I brought my format and information I wanted on the invites, I negotiated a price and he printed 500 for something like $40. This was a great deal as all the other places were more like in the $100's. The thing that sold me was this particular printer was willing to not do a fancy print on it. I just wanted a basic color and no embossing stuff. My thinking was why waste money on something that most people will throw away anyway. I thought the finished product was tastefully done and looked fabulous.

We had a beautiful quote at the top of the invite "Absents is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small and kindles the great." Comte de Bussy-Rabutin

Jared's Father took our lovely engagement pictures and we got those printed off for fairly cheap as well. The stamps were the most expensive thing about our invites. Gotta love postage!

I borrowed a wedding dressed that fit me just right from my future sister-in-laws sister. I loved it too!

We had an outside reception the night before our wedding ceremony, at Jared's Grandma and Grandpas, "Better Homes and Gardens backyard." We had these cute little tea candle tree lights all over in the trees. It looked like fire flies were in the trees at night. The weather was perfect.

Because our reception was more like an open house we served pie and ice cream, which was perfect for the fall setting. We got an excellent deal on the pies too. How can you beat .99 cents a pie. They were not gross pies either, very yummy.

I am sure there are some who are reading who may think, "How could they do things so chintzy? You only get married once!" I say to you, getting married does not mean you have the privileged of going in debt. Whether it is you who is paying for the wedding or someone else. But that is just my opinion. You can disagree.


I stayed at Jared's Grandmas that night. I slept(tried to) on a water bed. I don't recommend that. Too many things raced through my head that night. One of which was that I was extremely uncomfortable in that bed and how I wish I could fall asleep. My parents slept at Jared's aunt and uncle's home. Looking back I am not sure why I was left all alone the night before I got married. At least if I would have had someone to talk with beside myself that night my lack of sleep would have felt valid.

Wedding day morning, I got up and showered, had a small bowl of cereal and then my Mom came to pick me up to take me to the Jordan River Temple, where Jared and I would be sealed for Time and All Eternity later that day. We stopped for a quick bite to eat before heading to the Temple.

We got to the Temple and Jared was there waiting for me. I felt so happy. We walked in as 2 and walked out being sealed together as 1. It was a wonderfully sacred and exquisite experience. The best choice I have ever made. After the ceremony we took pictures outside with family and friends at the Temple grounds.

We then went to a church building and had a celebration luncheon. Which included pizza and party hats and ice cream sandwiches. If you haven't figured out yet we apparently are not fancy people. Very simple and practical. Oh, and FUN!

Even though we had 6 weeks to plan, I don't recall being stressed at all in the planning process. I had a clear vision, and budget.

About 2 weeks after we got married we had an open house in Buffalo. It was a small setting, but many came to congratulate us. We served homemade brownie sundaes. YUM!

The following weekend we had a more formal reception in Michigan where I am from. My Dad did a wonderful soup buffet. It was fall time. I believe he had a spread of delicious sandwiches and some fruit platters and cheese and crackers. Our wedding cake was to die for. A chocolate chiffon cake with white chocolate mousse and white chocolate shavings. That's what I'm talking about.

One thing I do want to know. Who ever started wedding lines? They are agonizing for me. I think mostly because I am not good at all with small talk. Which is pretty much what you have to do when you are in those wedding lines. Is there some kind of college class you can take on how to make you an equipped small talk person? Or is this something that is either in your DNA or not?

Mother's Day

You know how I talked about last Friday that I got to go to the School for a Mother's Day muffin breakfast with Sera and she squeezed me and smothered me with hugs and kisses. Here is a little evidence. I am going to savor all I can get!

Mother's Day this year was great! The girls showered me with cards and wanted to be near me all day to make sure it was a good Mother's day. Sera woke up early to put together a re-gift collection of a play hairbrush, and one of those doodle pads. She was soooo excited to give me her presents. Emma made this cute flower pot with a flower pen in it. Lucy conjugated a card with various word letters that talked about how much she loves me and appreciates me. She verbally translated for me:) Kady gave me a back massage. Loved it!

With the help of Jared they made me breakfast. As the girls sat around me before I ate, I offered a blessing on the food, I couldn't help but thank the Lord with great emotion for the wonderful gift of being a Mother. Kady came up to me afterward and took her cute little fingers and said as she wiped a tear from my face "Sad Mommy?" I told her I was not sad but so happy I am a Mother.

At church, Jared had planned on having all of the women meet 15 minutes before the end of our 3 hour block to address us. He summoned in the help of the men and young men of taking care of the primary children, so this could happen.

He talked about how he had thought about how he wanted to address us. He said something like"I thought about those who may have had bad childhoods and how I could tell you to just get over it but thought that would not be the best way to start, or those who may be having difficult times right now, and to just over it, it is a apart of life, but thought that probably would not go over too well either" He then proceeded to tell us how wonderful we all our and then serenaded us with the help of 2 other men, with the song "Walk Tall You're A Daughter" It was wonderful!

They then handed out a cute little bag that had 3 Lindor chocolate truffles in it with a nice message. I think this is what he had been dreaming and stressing about last week.
"In the Lord's language, the word Mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve "the Mother of all living" and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, your Motherhood began before you were born. Righteous women were endowed premortally with the privilege of Motherhood. Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. it is the essence of who you are as women. It defines your very identity, your divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us. For Mother is the word that will define a righteous woman made perfect in the highest degree of the Celestial Kingdom, a woman who has qualified for eternal increase in posterity, wisdom, joy and influence."

Jared got home early and made dinner. I enjoyed my hamburger! He made my favorite Marie Calender pie (Razzelberry) for dessert. It was a wonderful day for me.

I know that not all women like Mother's Day for various reasons. I really loved what this blogger wrote about Mother's Day. I really like her style of writing, she just says it like it is.

What to do?

We have done family prayer since we first were married. So it always leave me a little perplexed why our children are still not able to kneel and fold their arms and keep their eyes closed and their mouths closed. We have had numerous lessons on how to be reverent and still our family prayers look nothing like this:

(picture from LDS gospel art kit)

So why is this?!? Are my husband and I not doing enough in teaching them? I feel like I make a point to teach them this concept, and yet it still is a struggle. I have learned, though, that they eventually "get it!" and that it never is in my timetable.

So I guess I will just continue and be consistent even though it can frustrate me at times. I bet that is how God feels at times with us, "Why can't they get this already?" "I sure love them though, I will just keep reminding."

Courtship Part 2: First kiss

A week prior to our first kiss, Jared had taken me to Ensign Peak in Salt Lake City. For those who have not been there, it is quite the climb when it is dry, so imagine how easy it was to try to climb when there was snow and mud. It wasn't. Naturally, I clung to Jared in an attempt to not kill myself sliding down the mountain side.

We eventually made it to the top of the peak. It was so beautiful. While we were up there, my sister and Jonathan called (the ones who set us up) and asked if we wanted to come over and watch a movie. We thought that would be fun, so we headed on over. I remember how nice it felt to hold hands.

At the end of the night, he drove me home. We had built a tradition by this point (the whole 2 1/2 weeks of dating) of sitting on the porch swing and talking for a few minutes before he took off. When it was time to go, we hugged for quite some time. Funny how those little moments can be so intimate.

A week later, we went out to the Murray Art Dance Center to go ballroom dancing. Now before you get any ideas that we are good dancers, we are not. In fact, quite the contrary. I am too much of a control freak and too clumsy to make our dancing look any good. But we had fun. It felt like we were in our own little world.

On the drive back to his condo, we had discussed how we promised we would be completely honest with each other no matter what. Even if it meant it would hurt some feelings.

We got back to his condo, scooped up some ice cream, sprinkled it with jimmies, and started to watch a movie about C.S Lewis, "Shadowlands". Sometime at the beginning of the movie, I asked some out of the blue question. Something like, "What do I mean to you?"-type of question. He stopped the movie and we talked for a bit. We then decided we wanted to dance. He asked what music I wanted to dance to.

[Side note: At the time, I loved the Sleepless in Seattle soundtrack. My twin and I listened to that over and over when we would drive back and forth from Salt Lake to Cedar City. I especially loved the Louie Armstong songs.]

I asked him if he had the Sleepless in Seattle soundtrack because it would be fun to dance to one of Louie's songs, although I didn't know the names of the songs. Jared pulled out the CD and found a Louie Armstrong song. The first song on the CD that Louie sings is "Give me a kiss to build a dream on":



He read into this a little too much. He thought that I was telling him, in a subtle way, that I wanted him to kiss me. He later found out that was not my intention at all. Regardless, we danced to several songs on the soundtrack.

When it was nearing midnight, we knew it was coming to the end of date. As we were wrapping things up, Jared said, "How about one more song?" "Okay," I replied.

He played that first song again, "Give me a kiss to build a dream on" and as the music started, he said softly, "I hope I get it right this time!" And then he leaned in for the kiss. So nice and simple. I loved it!

We pretty much saw each other every day after that for a month, until his company he was working for at the time, transferred him to Buffalo.

That song turned out to be somewhat of a prophecy, because 10 years later, we're still enjoying the "dream" built from that kiss. :)

Quality vs. Quantity?!?

A couple of years ago today I was attending a little "Mother's Tea" at Emma's Kindergarten class. I was enjoying the time and trying not to cry because I felt so overwhelmed with love and joy of being a Mother.

Today was no exception when I attended a muffin breakfast for the Mothers of first graders. Sera clung to me and was showering me with tons of hugs(full fledged squeezes) and kisses. I told myself repeatedly not to start bawling, because I didn't want to scare the children. But I felt so loved and filled with joy again for that of being a Mother.

Back to a couple years ago. A mother of one of the children at Emma's table started talking with me. Asking how many children I had. I told her 4. She gasped slightly and responded with a " I only have 2, that is all I can handle"

I responded with a "Oh, I am glad you know what you can handle." She inquired if we were done having children and I responded with a, no we are not done having children.

She then inquired about my friend who she knew from the school. She happened to have 6 kids at the time. She asked if I knew if they were going to have anymore children. I politely told her I didn't know and that it really was none of my business.

She then proceeded to tell me that her and her husband went for Quality NOT quantity. I quickly replied with a "Oh, I go for quality too." Where upon, she realized what she had just said and started to profusely apologize. I assured her I was not at all offended and that I understood what she was trying to say.


I really could have been easily offended by her comments and even the discussion itself. But I chose not to, for the shear fact that I was blessed with an abundant amounts of self-confidence.

Some women are great at cleaning and making their gardens look superbly beautiful. Others their homes look like something plucked out of Better Homes and Gardens.

My gift is, I know who I am and what my purpose here is on earth and I don't give into the seemingly constant stream of messages that stay-at-home Mothers are "Just Mothers"

Yes, true, I do have days where I feel like my job is a waste of time, and that all of my efforts are in vain, but in the big picture it is only a moment of time that I allow myself to feel that way because my desire to hear My Father's voice is greater than that of the worlds. He knows me. He knows what my potential is. He is forgiving when I mess up and encourages me to do better, and provides a way for me to accomplish that.

It is a honor to be a Mother. I am excited for November when our 6th child will make her/his(?) debut into the world.

Sleep talking

Last night I was woken frequently with a certain someone who had a problem with talking in their sleep. This certain someone talked of chocolate and things in a different language I am unfamiliar with. This certain some one also was found wandering the home on several occasions looking for chocolates.

This certain someone is my husband. Because of my lack of sleep last night, due from his talking and wanderings, I have not been very kind to him today. Giving him scowled looks and being snippy with him. You know what his response has been. Laughing hysterically at me. Yeah I have a funny husband. And I am thankful for that. I am thankful he doesn't take things personally and too seriously. It is a good thing he has a home full of women then, because life will not be easy for him in the coming years for him if he chose to be a serious person.

So thank you Love, for laughing at me when all I want to do is give you glaring evil looks because you interrupted my precious sleep hourly last night.

I wanted to tell a quick story about the above picture. This picture was taken when we lived in Scottsbluff Nebraska.

Jared came home from church meeting one Sunday and we were talking.
I stopped him and asked "why are your eyes not blinking at the same time?"

He responded by saying "what are you talking about?"

Me: "You can't tell that your eyes are not blinking at the same time? Go look in the mirror."

By this time I was laughing so hard and he was too.

Him: "That is weird, why would that do that?"

Me: "I don't know but your mouth looks weird too when you move it. Maybe you are having a stroke or something"

Him: "I will be fine."

We continue to laugh so hard we are crying because his eyes would not close at the same time and his mouth was slanted.

He did go to the doctors and they diagnosed him with Bells Palsy. This was at the beginning of the week.

Later on in the week he conducted a funeral for a member of our congregation. He was the Bishop at the time. Back up a little bit. When Jared did his first funeral he made the mistake of singing at it. Hence all of the elderly people in the congregation told him that if he was still around when they died that they wanted him to sing at their funeral. Fast forward.

He was asked to sing at the funeral. He also conducted it. The whole time I am sitting in the back watching half of his face move and the other half not and having a terrible time trying not to laugh. This affected his speech as well. The members were unaware that he had been diagnosed with Bells Palsy earlier in the week.

So after the services I am leaving and I was talking with some friends. I was telling them how Jared had been diagnosed with Bells Palsy that week. Their eyes lit up and they chimed in. "Oh I was wondering what was wrong with his face, I thought maybe he had gone to the dentist or something" We got a good laugh.

I guess my point in telling this story is we could have easily gotten overwhelmed with his condition, but we chose to have fun and relax. This life is meant for trials and upsets. It is not always going go the way we planned. But if we put our trust in the Lord and submit our will to His will, then we will have joy in the midst of trial. I am really grateful for that certain someone who reminds me of this in subtle kind ways.

Productive

I LOVE the feeling of being productive! Yesterday was a very productive day. It included me doing the laundry in the morning. Going through the girls clothes and making the final transition from winter to spring/summer clothes. Huge undertaking in and of itself. I meant to take a picture of our hallway upstairs to show you the craziness that happens.


I mowed the lawn. We have a little over a half an acre and I cleaned the garage. I also had a dentist appointment which I apparently must have been on something when I made the appointment because it was scheduled for 5:30. HELLO! Not the best time of day for me.


Also earlier in the morning I went up to the school to drop off my most delicious blueberry muffin contribution for the Teacher appreciation breakfast, and then helped a little with putting some finishing touches on some decorating they wanted done.


Today I want to make some garden boxes. The problem is our van is full of stuff that needs to be taken to salvation army or up to the church building. This was the result of my attacking the garage.


I love a clean garage by the way. I feel sooooo happy when I pull into a nice sweeped out clean garage.


Also within the last week I have gone through toys and clothes and have gotten rid of several bags of "stuff", because I mostly dislike "stuff" we don't need.


The girls were having a hard time putting "stuff" away in their play room and figured it was time to get rid of some of it. Yes I am a purger when it comes to getting rid of "stuff".


I love being productive and I pretty sure I am making up for my lack of productivity from last month. I think it may have taken me a total of 60 seconds to fall asleep last night. Happy Tuesday!

Courtship part 1

Jared and I met on a blind date back in December of '97. My twin sister and her boyfriend at the time(with whom she later married) were friends with Jared from college. They called him up the night of the date and asked if he wanted to go out on a blind date. He was just finishing up the closing on his first real estate purchase when he agreed to the date.


That was the beginning of something good. The date was interesting to say the least. It was a group date and we had gone to dinner and then we went to a place called quick wits. A kind of comedy joint, where the actors have the audience participate with giving them the topics of their skits. Very fun. Jared should have gotten a clue then that I was strange. My mind was filled with clever things to yell out for the actors to use. Which they took for some reason. I yelled out "Nasal Spray!" one time and was flattered they used such an ingenious idea.


This date led to another the following week which started off with him being late, and the waiter at the restaurant pouring a pitcher of water on me. we then went back to his condo so he could show me his newly purchase condo and all of his trinkets. We had ice cream and jimmies(sprinkles). I lived with a family and the Mom always liked hearing about how my dates went and asked me to wake her whenever I came home. That night I informed her that Jared "was odd!" and that "I am not sure he is my type"


A month passed. Unbeknown-st to me my twin sister had been lying to Jared telling him that I was waiting for him to call me and that he better call mesoon. So about a month later I get a call. It went something like this

him: Hi Pam this is Jared

me: Jared who?

him: Jared Palmer you know we went out last month

me: silence and thinking, Oh, oh yeah Jared

him: Well I was calling because I wanted to come over and personally apologize for not calling you the last month

me: Huh?!?

him: I have class till 10:30 this evening can I come over afterward?

me: Sure, that would be fine ( I totally thought he was not going to show up) See you then
I gave him the address

him: Okay bye


Around 10:45ish he arrived. I opened the door and I was plesently surprised. He looked a lot more handsomer than I had remembered. I sat on the couch and he sat across from me on the floor in front of the coffee table and we talked til after midnight.


We went out again sometime within a couple days after that visit, and then another date a day or so after that.


The date that sealed it for me was when he had asked me to travel with him to attend his cousins baptism he was speaking at. His extended family was huge and they were all so loving. I felt like I was apart of their family. When he spoke there was such a strong spirit that was present.


I remember I was not feeling well and on our travels up I told him I wasn't feeling well and if it was okay if we didn't talk. The silence was very comfortable. He wanted to make sure I was okay and offered to take me to a little diner for some soup before the baptism. He was very thoughtful and considerate. On the way home he said to me as we approached the exit off the freeway how he wanted to drive slower so that he could spend more time with me. I just felt so super special and that he appreciated and accepted me for me. He actually liked my strangeness.

Next week stay tuned for details of the first kiss! OOH-LA-LA