What do you do when......

What do you do when you hope and pray that when you leave the home to go and run errands that a freak of nature comes along and, lets say, blows a couple of trees down in strategic places on your home (both bathrooms, laundry room and kitchen) and destroys them? DO you feel bad? I say nay, nay!

What do you do when all you can dream about is how to make said rooms look like they just came from a magazine, only to wake up and realize that it is nearly impossible to do so, and you wake up grumpy and take it out on everyone else?

What do you do when you don't know what to do with said grumpiness?

What do you do when you realize that life for everyone in this country is unstable and that your demands for a "Betters Homes and Garden" home is unrealistic? Do you stop having said dreams? I say nay,nay!

I am grumpy today, because I can not stop thinking about all the things that would make this home better.

It consumes my dreams.

Is there a program for "Home improvement anonymous?"

"Hi my name is Pam and my dreams of having a nice home became obsessive and I turned into a grumpy crazy person because no one(Jared) would give into my foolish ideas!"

My husband does have a point though! With the way the market is, at least here in Michigan, and with job security so jittery right now, everything is so unknown. I mean sure we could go ahead and do all of these things. But what would happen if he were to lose his job in 6 months and we would be left with extra payments that we wouldn't be able to pay? Why does he have to be right?!?!?

This may sound terrible, but I have tried to get my husband to write to Oprah (even though I do not watch her anymore) and tell her what a wonderful wife and mother I am! And then proceed to write about our woes with our home. This would be for one of those shows that she does when they come in and fix all the projects you have started on but have never finished them, because (A) You have run out of money or (B) You have no time left in the day to finish them.

He still hasn't written her. I am convinced that if he did they would come and rescue our home from the depths of despair, and restore it to a most glorious and beautiful state. It would be one of those shows where the designers and such come in and the commentary would go something like this "Oh honey, what were you trying to do! No one deserves to live in such dangerously ugly situations! You can not live like this for one more minute! It will be a lot of work, but the results will be absolutely breathtaking!"


I have a serious problem!

Does anyone have the number to Home Improvement anonymous?

"You are brave!"

Said the cashier to me the other day at the grocery store. I am not sure why strangers have a need to always use this term with me when they find out that all of the little people with me are all mine(which in my opinion is not that many) and that there are more that are not present and a soon coming attraction in June.

I am just wondering how many kids constitutes for no reply from strangers? 1 or 2?

And I am trying to figure out what is so brave about having children. Is it the fact that for a living I get to (here comes a long list in no particular order):

Be a psychiatrist (I get to listen to people whine to me all day about their woes, and then they think that I should solve them),

Be a teacher (with 1 vacation a year),

Be a referee (only when things get bloody),

Be a seamstress (only for buttons, curtains, and small rips in clothing),

Be a cook (not a cook to order one either. "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit!"),

Be a professional grocery shopper (because when you are brave enough to have kids you have to be),

Be an organizer (so that my life can be somewhat controlled),

Be a financial adviser ("I think investing your money in gum is not a wise decision!"

Be a sanitation specialist (Bum and nose wiper, clean throw up up, a dozen eggs clean up, and any thing else you can think of that is disgusting)

Be a cleaner (The kids are getting old enough now that they are doing more. Like cleaning the floor with their mouths)


Be a secretary (this includes constant reminders of responsibilities, and sorting through mail, and making sure everyone's needs are being met)

Be an entertainer (Finding the right games to play that are both educational but can keep attention spans of fly on task)

Be a doctor (This means telling them that everything is going to be fine, but if they want to keep on crying we could cut off the other appendage and then their original hurt would not hurt any more. Or just tell them they will certainly need an enema. I found these methods to stop any efforts for them to become a hypochondria)

Be a history consultant (telling stories of my childhood or of when they were little)

Be a cosmetologist (cutting hair and trimming nails and the occasional up-do)

Be a foreign language interpreter (explaining to others what was just said or trying to figure out myself what was just said)

Be a Special event coordinator (What family would be complete without one of these?)

Be a talent scout (here I am teaching Kady how to whistle)


These are just of few of the things we Mothers get to do for a living.

I think the next time a stranger tells me that I am brave I will simply say,
"I AM a Domestic Goddess!" and then demand that they bow in my presence :)

PLLUUUMMMMEERR"S CRRAACCCKK!!

I thought this picture I took of Lucy was so funny. I took it the other day not intending to use it at all but today find it appropriate since on Jared's to-do list he put to fix the toilet.

I would not have posted about this but he has had a few minor mishaps and wanted to give a shout out to all of those wonderful plumbers out there who do so much for the betterment of our lives.

Luckily this time we did not have to call one, but if expense were not an issue, I think we would hire a plumber to be at our beck and call just so we, I mean Jared, didn't have to work with such disgusting things.

All right enough with the run-on sentences. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Happy Birthday!

I am sure that on occasion we all experience cognitive dissonance. Sometimes this is caused by outside influences and sometimes it is caused by undo pressures we put on how we think those situations should be or go.

I experienced such cognitive dissonance this past weekend. In preparations for my birthday celebrations I requested to my children that all I wanted for my birthday was for them to be obedient, and that this would be the ultimate gift.

I thought that this was a reasonable request since "MY" children are quite mature 6,5,2, and 1 year old. I mean I am not asking them to do this all the time just for a meager 12 hours or so.

Obviously this idea was set for disaster from the beginning.

First off my birthday was on Sunday. To put an image in your head, Emma went to church without brushing her hair and no tights on with shoes that were a little to big for her. I could have been embarrassed but she seemed to think that she looked just fine, so I put my pride aside and let her go looking like she just got out of bed. This should have been my first clue that my request was near impossible to meet.

Second off I was asking little people to do something that even us big people have a hard time doing. Setting myself up big time!

So what do I do? I acted like a child and threw a tantrum! That is right. I figured I had a right to. I also figured we will have enough in savings when they are older to pay for the therapy bills that would incur because of my manipulation that took place this day.

All this got me were a bunch of birthday cards, probably made out of guilt, that were made from the 2 older ones while I took a much needed nap.






After my nap I realized I had acted like a weirdo and apologized to everyone with whom I had tantrum ed to and made peace. I reset my expectations and enjoyed the rest of my birthday!

Come to find out there was a full moon this day. Can I just blame it on the full moon?

When I grow up.......

Saturday on the way to the library the girls were oooooing and awwwwing over a dog that was riding in a car next to us.

"Isn't it soooo cute Mom?"

Me: "No!

Girls:"How come you think that it is not cute?"

Me: "Because it means extra work I am not willing to commit to that!"

Girls: "What do you mean?"

Me: "Well when you have a pet you have to clean up it's poop and play with it and take it for walks and feed it, and I already have enough people that I get to do that for that the thought of having a pet is not appealing! When you grow up and have children you probably won't want pets either!"

Emma: "Well when I grow up, I'm going to live on a farm and I will make my husband do all the work!"