Why can't I be nice?

I have a serious problem. It has to do with when the children get sick. Instead of being the kind Mom that says, "Oh, I am soooo sorry you are not feeling well, here come here so I can make you feel better." No, I am more like, "psh, will you please stop coughing and sneezing on me?" and "Stay away from your sisters," and "I told you to keep your hands out of your mouth and eyes and nose when we are in public places and at school." I am a meanie, plain and simple, a meanie!

I was helping out in Sera's class a while back ago. I was all cheerful and just thinking how rewarding it would be to be a teacher when one of the kids I was working with sneezed without covering his mouth and nose and snot shot out of his orifices. I suddenly became a meanie. The kid just sat there for a moment with snot dripping off of him, then he attempted to clean it up with his hands and smears it everywhere and I am trying not to throw up from gagging while I say in a very stern voice, "Stop it, we don't clean up snot with our bare hands, put your hands in the air and go to the sink and wash them for 30 seconds with soap." He just stood there for a moment staring at me like I had just spoken a different language. He finally did go and do what I had asked him to do while I then got several antibacterial wipes and disinfected the whole surrounding area and the sink he had used. This experience quickly made me realize I would be a terrible teacher. I realized I am a very conditional person. As harsh as that sounds, it is true.

At church a couple of Sundays ago, a young man went to go grab Kady's hand and I said abruptly, "Don't touch her hands." He paused and then said, "May I ask why you don't want me to touch her hands?" I said, "Most certainly." I then proceeded to tell him that she likes to put her hands in her mouth and that he has been shaking a whole lot of other people's hands who might not have washed their hands recently and she could get sick and I hate having sick kids...yada yada yada! The poor kid got a lecture I don't think he was expecting. But really in my opinion it is rude to touch babies hands.

I really think it should be mandatory for everyone to take a Microbiology class sometime early in their youth. I learned all sorts of things that have contributed to my "personally diagnosed" OCD of germs. Yes, I recognize that germs are everywhere and it is inevitable that we get sick, but I also believe that we should teach our children proper hygiene and the difference between good and bad germs.

So going back to me being a meanie when my kids are sick. I hate it! I am just recently realizing that they don't get sick on purpose. I know I am a little slow. Good news is that I am a lot more compassionate than I used to be.

Actually, a great way to get your kids feeling better is to talk about enemas. I had a great friend in Scottsbluff who told me that when she was growing up and she or her siblings were sick, her parents would give them enemas. She said that if they ever said "Can I stay home from school, I don't feel very well?" her mom would say "Sure, I will get the enema ready and you will be healthy in no time" She said they would magically feel better.

So I tried this method this week. Sera had not been feeling well. After the second day, I told her that if she was not feeling better the next day then she would be getting an enema. Emma's eyes lit up, as she had experienced one recently. She quickly said "Oh Sera, you definitely do not want one of those" Where Sera said "I feel better already Mom, will I have to have a enemy?" I said " I don't know it all depends on how you feel tomorrow." Sera said "But I am not sick anymore and I don't want an enemy."

I am convinced that, for the remainder of the night, Sera talked whatever illness she had out of her because in the morning, she was sounding great and was back to herself again. No enemies for Sera. I guess the trick for older kids is to scare the sickness out of them. And talk of enemas will do that. Meanie? Yup!