So I think I may have been experiencing some depression since we decided to load our lives up in Michigan and head on over here to the beautiful land of the sun.
I have thought a lot about the "D" word for a while now. The other day I was reading a fellow bloggers post on the subject of depression here. I realized that some of what she talked about is what I have been experiencing. Especially the thought of something is not right.
I think I am having a hard time processing everything that happened in such a short time. Especially with our move. I kept on telling myself to just focus on getting everything done, that I think I missed out on being able to put some adequate closure on that chapter of my life.
I am not sure on how to do that now, so that is why I am writing about it. I know there will be a time when I have found how to make that closure happen and I will have figured out how to move on.
The kind of depression I think I am experiencing is that I am not sure how to connect with this new environment I am in now. I find myself asking who am I? Do I fit in here? It's like I am the new kid at a school and I still have not found where I fit in.
I know I am on the road to bleeping out the "D" word. I look forward to getting to that point. I am just not sure what avenue to take. I have never been one to be depressed, but I do know that I feel generally off.
So for me I ask myself-- is it just the fact that a whole lot of change happened all at once in a very small period of time, or am I chemically imbalanced? I don't concretely have the answer to those questions yet.
What do you do to help bleep out the "D" word? If you have had similar experiences I would appreciate some feedback.
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2 comments:
I wish there was some kind of magic wand. I read lots of suggestions: exercise
write
read scriptures
talk to someone
get creative
serve
etc
etc
etc
Sometimes medication is the right thing to do. I took depression medication when I was first married and it did even things out, but I have not used it since.
I think in your case perhaps you need some time to adjust. Time to settle in to your new role and location. And perhaps some time just with Jared.
Also, some love. I love you. You're amazing. I can't wait to see you next month!
When we moved to Scottsbluff I had a really hard time. As I look back I think I was experiencing depression. As I have thought about it I think it was a combination of pregnancy hormones and missing my old routine/friends. Even though I knew that we were supposed to be in Scottsbluff and the people in the ward were nice I felt lonely and didn't feel like I fit in. For me, I didn't get better all of a sudden, it came gradually. Eventually I made new friends and as I got to know Scottsbluff better I got into a new routine and by the time we left, 20 months later, I was really sad to go. Also, I remember that we traveled up to my parents house for Christmas and that helped too. I think just being with family helped. So maybe just giving yourself time to adjust will help? Anyway, sorry I don't have any concrete, useful answers. I have really enjoyed reading your blog and I hope you get can bleep out the D word soon.
Carissa
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