schizophrenic

So have any of you ever felt like you were two different people when it comes to being a parent? I do all the time.

I used to call her in my earlier Mommy Journal "The Incredible Hulk On Estrogen." I think she first arrived when Emma (our oldest) turned 2 and started having her own opinion, wanting to do things her own way. And I am not kidding you, it really happened over night, and I was like, "Wait a minute, no one warned me of the suddenness of this. I have no more control!!!!!!"

And thus began my split personality.

Let me tell you a little bit more about this beast. She only comes out when the kind nice person we all know as "Pam" has very gently and patiently asked her children too many times to admit to do their responsibilities, but they have, for one reason or another, decided to be entertained, because that is when "TIHOE" (The Incredible Hulk on Estrogen) comes out. It is almost like it says, "Move over, you are to calm. Let me take care of this for you."

Initially, the kids think it is funny, but then they realize they are not dealing with their Mommy. "Oh no, it isn't?!? It is....TIHOE!"

So TIHOE is an odd thing, really. Most of the time it sings opera and then other times it forgets to sing opera and freaks out. I have often pondered the affects of this personality disorder, and at present, think that it is most important for children to see how their parents deal with stressful situations. I think being calm all the time would stunt the children's emotional growth. Having more than one emotion helps children understand that, as humans, we have emotions, and if we channel them properly, at least most of the time, we will have healthy productive lives.

Being angry is a real scary emotion, but not knowing how to deal with it would be even scarier. Once in a while, I like asking our girls to role play situations we go through as a family. "Okay, Emma, you be Mom. Sera, you be Emma and role play what happend last night at bed time."

We get ourselves laughing so hard because Emma's face will be all crazy and stuff trying to get it to look as crazy as mine did the night before. I guess my whole point in this post is this: Look, it is okay to get upset with your kids. It really is normal. It is what you do after the fact is what I think will make the lasting effect. I do not know about my other siblings, but for me growing up, I remember often, after I had gotten disciplined, having my Mother or Father coming in and saying sorry and making sure I understood what just happend. For me this made a world of a difference.

I know very well that every child is sooooo very different. That is why I think it is even more important to have a relationship with Him who knows all, because He is the only one who knows that child better and knows how to help that child.

As for the split personality, I have a feeling that she helps get things done. All I know is that, despite how frustrating it can be as a parent, the joy and happiness of being a mom far outweighs the frustration (by about a bagillion times!). You gotta love the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to parenting!