I have a problem!
Anytime I have gone to the girls school for events (Kindergarten graduation, Mother's day tea, Fun Run, Halloween parades) I am overcome with emotion. As I walk up to the doors of the school I realize that our children will be all grown up before I know it, and for some reason I feel like I am going to bawl.
For several minutes I have an internal dialogue that goes something like this
" Pam you are not going to start crying! Kids growing up is apart of life! People will wonder if something is wrong with you, and maybe there is, but not in the way that it would be portrayed by you crying at a Halloween parade! Snap out of it sister, you can cry once you get home!" etc.
This last time at the Halloween parade, party thing, my husband was able to come for the parade part. My eyes were a little wet when I saw him. Instead of telling him the real reason I lied! It was a windy day and so I said "Man that wind sure made my eyes water a lot!"
Later that evening I told him the real reason my eyes were wet and the reason I lied. Because I knew if I told him there at the school the way I was really feeling I would start to cry, the "ugly cry". You know where your face is stuck in that awkward position, and I didn't want to make a scene.
We won't talk about Emma's Kindergarten graduation or the Mother's Day tea her class did for the Moms.
I am not really sure if these feelings will subside as they get older and more teenagish.
They sure are wonderful people though.
Even if they occasionally tell people "You know, my Mom gets angry sometimes!?!?"
This is the way I feel about our children as the words stated in the book "Love you forever"(Which by the way makes me cry when I read)--
"I like you for always.
I love you forever.
As long as I'm living,
my baby you'll be!"
Great place to go
About Me
- Pam
- My children are my greatest joy! There are days though, where I feel like my brain is going to explode from repeating myself to the wee ones over and over. Then there are days where everything runs so smoothly that I feel like this must be a bit of heaven and it gives me hope.
The Family
Our Crazy Clan
I'm a Mormon Mommy Blogger
7 comments:
Oh, good. I don't feel like such a baby! :) My son wrote his name without any assistance for the first time a few weeks ago and I teared up. Inside, I was shouting, pull it together, lady! But the misty eyes weren't cooperating.
Ah, motherhood.
Aww. I don't think you are so crazy because I'm crying now...but I'm pregnant, so I have an excuse:)
Just kidding, I always feel that way too. The Halloween Parade was an exception, but maybe setting up for the party distracted me.
So, I don't think you are crazy. (But I still hide it myself because it is embarrassing.) I was almost sobbing at the primary program and my kid acted like he didn't even know his part! We should come up with a signal for the next celebration that means "get it together". And, in my humble opinion, it is the Spirit testifying of the reality of the love that we have for our kids and just how special they are in God's eyes.
I've had some pretty ugly cries myself lately. My oldest is a senior so there are all these first time and last time moments. I spontaniously break out the water works several times a week.
I hate to tell you this but it doesn't get better, only worse. Much worse. Because they start doing things like turning 10, getting a first zit, needing personal space, it's horrible.
p.s. I think your crying is cute! It always touches me to see such an external display of your adoration for your beautiful kids so don't hide it sista!
Well now you've got me teary eyed.
They do grow up way too fast. I can hardly believe Sariah will be double digits next month. She's closer to leaving the nest then I could have ever imagined. Puberty has started this year too just forcing Joe and I to realized just how much she is growing up. She's even had her heart broken by not one but 2 boys already! I know she is still young but she's had crushes that we just couldn't stop. THAT was tough watching her get her heart broken by 2 boys. Each time worse than before.
Evan is growing just as fast as he is heading into his 2nd year of life. I swear I just had him yesterday! Where DOES the time go.
Maybe that is why Joe and I love having little babies around. It just feels like our nest will be fuller longer that way I guess.
I was TOTALLY with you - completely in agreement... perma-PMS has me teetering on the edge of emotional meltdown every time my kids say their parts in the primary program (especially as Sunbeams or 11 year olds), sing for Mother's Day, etc...
TOTALLY with you... until that book - it never makes me cry - I've gotten cynical maybe but that book strikes me as being about crazy stalkers who break into people's houses in the middle of the night...
Okay - sorry, I'm okay with you liking the book - and crying all you want. I usually use the allergy excuse... or sometimes my contacts can be bugging me...
Well, let me tell you, as being your mother I still get emotional over the stuff you all do. I would get choked up just showing up at your schools thinking of how fast time fly's and how quick you all grow up. Now to have grandchildren who are now turning 10 soon and my youngest turning 20 soon, I realize how much I loved being a mom and being a part of all those fun moments in your life. Cherish all of the different stages of motherhood, it goes by so fast.
Post a Comment