Friend

I have vivid memories of who my parents friends were growing up. One of my Mothers dearest friends we called "Aunt" Dale. We were not technically related but because my Mom and her knew each other since childhood, they figuratively were family.


We would go and have play dates with her children and have BBQ's. I remember one time, when I was in Kindergarten or pre-school, I got sick and my Mom must not have been available to take care of me so I went to Aunt Dale's and sat on her couch and watched Sesame Street. It was a nice feeling to feel safe at a home that wasn't mine. My Mom is a great example to me on how to be a good friend. I still have a lot to learn from her in this category.


When I was a teenager my Dad said something to the affect of, you will always know who your friends are. They are the ones who will tell you if you have toilet paper stuck to your shoes or pants, and if they have a question about you they will not ask someone else but will come to you and ask you the question. I think in essence he was talking about loyalty.


My parents both took occasional trips with their respective friends. I think my Dad went to the Bahamas with one of his buddies, and some golfing trips with others. I remember one time my Mom went to Disneyland with Aunt Dale for a week or so.


I remember that week because it meant my Dad was in charge. He had gotten a babysitter for us one day. She was terrible. I was around 4 or5 and my Brother was still in a crib. this babysitter for some reason must not have liked us because she seemed angry all the time. She then randomly put me in my brothers crib. I remember feeling very confused. I felt great relief when my Dad got home that day. She was a mean babysitter.


I remember my Dad getting us all ready to go and pick our Mom up from the airport. We were all so excited. We may or may not have looked like we lived in a home, but we were all still breathing.


Now that I am a Mom myself, I am sure my Moms homecoming was bittersweet. Bitter in the sense that she couldn't just go wherever she wanted whenever and stay up way late and sleep in. Sweet because she was home again. It is important to get away and renew yourself as a Mother. I know for me I enjoy getting together with my friends often and we have a grand time visiting and eating yummy food. It really does help renew a sometimes dreary spirit.


We had an older friend growing up. Amy seemed to be my Mom's helper. Amy was awesome.! She still is! She took us all over. It seemed like she was always volunteering to take us out and help. One year she took my sisters and I to get pictures taken for a present for my Mom for Christmas. The pictures were made into ornaments. She took us skiing, and a few times she came on vacations with us. She probably enjoyed being around a bunch of little girls since she had no sisters of her own, just a slew of brothers. She felt like a wonderful older sister. She was a true blessing. And a great friend!


It is a shame that as we get older we tend to become more guarded on being friendly with those around us. I wonder what the consequences would be like if we chose to smile more when we are out in public. Would we be more apt to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger? Maybe we could be a beacon of light to help lift a spirit that feels sad.

Did you know that the simple act of smiling will produce good endorphins in your brain? It can! "A smile is a curve that can change everything." Author unknown


One day when I was driving home I thought I would make an effort to drive with a smile and take note of what the other drivers expressions were. Most peoples faces were drawn southward, I would imagine their thoughts were somewhat consumed with their troubles. A lot of people were talking on their phones. But not one face I saw had a smile on it.
"Have we forgotten how to smile?" I thought to myself. How does smiling have anything to do with being a friend? It does. It is so much more enjoyable to be around someone when they are smiling. you are more approachable, more inviting. This week smile more and see what happens :)



For me being a friend starts with making yourself be available. Whether that is with your chosen friends or with your family friends. The rest just falls into place. I am so grateful for the wonderful friends I have. I have been very blessed. I am grateful for the example my parents set of the importance to have friends outside of the home.



I believe of greater importance is to learn how to be friends with those with whom you get to live with. Family is where boundaries are put to their limits and so to be able to come out on top with friendship is the ultimate crown jewel in family relationships. I have found that it takes 2 people to accomplish that though, and so that is why sometimes families fall apart because they may not have the tools to know how to accomplish this.


Our daughters are literally not allowed to play at a friends if they are not able to be nice to each other. I tell them that once they figure out how to treat each other in a kind way then they can go to a friends.


I want them to understand that yes it is important to have friends outside of the home but your family will always be here. ALWAYS and so the sooner we all learn how to treat each other, the more wonderful life is. When the girls are fighting it breaks my heart. When they come to me all frustrated I ask them what their solution is. I feel that it is important for them to figure out how to come up with solutions to dilemmas. If they seem to have a hard time figuring it out, I will gently guide them to help.


For me being successful as a parent will mean our children are able to be friends with each other. I know I can not force this on them, BUT I can give them the tools that will give them a greater chance in accomplishing this. I recognize that we can teach our children everything but in the end it will be up to them if they want to learn and apply. I just hope and pray that they will have desires to stay close to each other and in the end they will all be the best of friends and will be loyal to the end.